Tuesday, November 16, 2010

"You're adorable!" ... Who, me?

So, I guess you think that's cute?  This picture of me looking utterly happy, with my baby's loving grandmothers-to-be?  You bet your happy little hiney that's cute!  And if you don't think so, then as my sister-in-law Mandy says, “Sorry 'bout your bad luck" cuz that’s the kind of mushy-gushy, love-like-there’s-no-tomorrow stuff I want to post on here.  Nothing you can do about it.  

Gotta love friends that are more like family!!

Okay, to be fair, I do understand that the blunders and complaints are probably much more interesting to read about… but, I don’t want to seem like a whiny brat (all the time, anyway) so, I guess in between the lovely of the lovely horror moments (there is one at the bottom of this post, if you were hoping for that), I’ll post some of the awesome things that happen every once in a while.  Like baby showers.  

Well, let me back up a bit and clarify some things.  Yes, I am unashamedly the most goo-goo-ga-ga, new mom-to-be that you have ever met.  But, I haven’t always been this person.  I was actually told at one point or another that I was an interesting person to be around.  I could talk about things other than babies, nap nannies (so flippin’ awesome!), and cloth diapers.  I could, really, but even when I was not obsessed with diaper champs and crib bedding, I desperately wanted my life to revolve around these things.

In fact, I was probably the opposite type of person.  I was an Ag teacher… my life revolved around stock shows, animals, trailers, students, contests, and the busiest schedule out of all the busy schedules you’ve ever seen! That might be a slight exaggeration, but I was never home, and it was all pretty much on purpose.  After having gone through so many trials with infertility, adoption, and foster care… I was tired of focusing all my energy on it.  You may think I’m horrible for giving up for a minute, but please understand:  I needed to feel like I wasn’t just a failure (failed fertility treatments, failed adoptions, failed…, failed…).  Being an FFA advisor and Ag teacher was something that I could do and be successful (I made a difference in some students’ lives, and we had some state-qualifying teams, too!)  I selfishly gave myself to it.  And even though it was one of the hardest years of my life, it was SO worth it! 

But, once we settled in our new positions and home, we went back to the fertility specialist.  We didn’t expect much, honestly.  It was too hard to get our hopes up again.  But, after vigorous treatment options (which they said had failed, but surprise!), we were pregnant.  

Sonogram picture they gave me at the fertility ultrasound. 
I was being checked for mature eggs - Surprise!!
It was like a light-switch went off.  I was a mother already, needing to do anything I could to make sure that I didn’t screw up this little life that we had worked so hard to create!  My husband, Taylor, immediately wanted me to consider being a stay-at-home mom.  Not that working and being a mom is impossible… or even that being an Ag teacher and a mom is impossible… but it wouldn’t be easy.  My loving husband told me that we deserved to be able to give our baby the best possible start we could.  Just reminding me of how hard we worked to get here.  (I remember thinking, has it really been three years??)

So, I immediately turned in my resignation.  And we made plans to move closer to family for support.  This meant that we were starting over.  New job for Taylor, living in a new community, with a new church family, and now hours from the life we had been putting together.  I honestly didn’t think we would have a baby shower at all.  It’s just a side effect of moving around – people can’t keep up with you!

That brings me back to my post of awesome things that happen.  Because then, we had some great friends start planning showers, and some amazing ladies at our new church asked if they could throw us one, too.  So, we went from no baby shower… to having three of them!  The one at the church ended up being our main one with the majority of our family and lots of new people who are just as excited to meet our baby as if they were family – and they are.  Can’t wait to introduce our baby to the family, including the church family!  The other two showers were amazing, too.  They included people that we hadn’t seen in so long and people who mean the world to us whom we may not have seen if they had been asked to drive to our new town for the church shower.  We have truly been blessed, and there really isn’t much left that we need (or even want) for our little angel!  A huge thank you to everyone… but especially those who remember me as a human, and not just an ushy-gushy mom, who apparently is the type of person who claps for a nap nanny (that’s right, I did that… And I’m only slightly ashamed :) ).

An older sonogram picture, just for good measure...
Well, she's making a much happier face than she did yesterday. 
It wasn't good enough to get a copy of the picture to
share with you, but I saw her little grimace - poor baby!

Okay, so now that I’ve completely bored you with how awesome things are, I’ll give you a little tidbit of misery to cling to until my next post.  My baby will be here sometime within the next 10 days now.  You’d think I’d be excited, and I am… except for one tiny detail.  I can see my breath... INSIDE!  We hired someone to install central heat and air in our house back in August.  We never messed with the furnace before now because it has been HOT (yay, pregnancy).  But now it’s cold enough to need heat… and the thing isn’t hooked up right!  And, to make matters even lovelier, we are getting no response from the install guy.  After calling him and leaving tons of unanswered messages, Taylor left a message last night shaming him for leaving his wife and soon-to-be newborn baby in the cold because he didn’t finish his job.  We’ll see if we get a response.  And while I’m thankful for the roof over our head, I am simply dreading this baby being ready to come home before we get the heat situation under control.  Yay -- “Mommy of the Year,” here I come.  My parents have offered to let us borrow a stand-alone heater, which we are picking up this evening.  That doesn’t fix my furnace, though, does it??  Cheers for people who don’t keep their word or follow through on their work.  :(

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