Friday, January 14, 2011

New Mommy Top-Ten List

You Know You Just Gave Birth to Your First-Born because…

#10:  Your newest (and possibly only) accessory is now a burp cloth.

#9:  You have become super skilled at multi-tasking, like breastfeeding while texting, doing dishes, or making the bed.  You are definitely the only person you know who breastfed while putting on make-up this morning. 

#8: You’re absolutely amazed that you even had the energy to put on that make-up this morning.  And were it not for the fact that you are going somewhere to see important people today, you would’ve considered it a lost cause.

#7: You’re no longer sure that a world exists outside of your baby’s room, much less your house.  And because no world exists, you realize it would be a wasted attempt to post on your blog.

#6: You suddenly find yourself driving a minivan because they’re safe and family-friendly, when all you ever wanted before was a tiny car that looked “cool” and got great gas mileage so that you could road-trip whenever you felt like it (or wait, was that just me??). 

#5: Every time you get in that minivan, you have to take so much stuff that it feels like you’re moving (even if you’re just going down the road for a couple of hours!).   Hey, you never know when the little one is going to explode out of the diaper… all over your friends’ couch.  So, you learn to take extra-extra clothes and how to apologize profusely.  (I’m so sorry, Christine and Evan… I hope she didn’t ruin your loveseat!)

#4: The best thing that has happened to you since your baby was born was fitting into a pair of non-maternity pants.  Granted, it took 7 weeks and said pants would have caused you to gag if you’d fit into them before pregnancy because they were your “fat” pants.  But now, hooray!  They don’t have to have the stretchy belly band!!

#3: You encourage watching sad movies because then at least you won’t look like a blubbering idiot when you tear up, like you suddenly do at every corny, sappy commercial.  And now, the amount of time you have to watch television and movies is actually less than the length of most commercials.

#2:  You suddenly have to have a camera phone, digital camera, video camera, and mini digital camera with you all the time because you know that the new little bundle is going to do something just phenomenally adorable… like wake up.

#1:  You know your baby is the most beautiful being on the entire planet.  And you’ve seen George Strait, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, and Jake Gyllenhaal… without shirts. Ha, ha!

Happy January, everyone!  Natalie is now 8 weeks old!!

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