Saturday, February 5, 2011

Painful Protection

1 shot in the left leg, 2 in the right...

So, yesterday my baby got her 2-month shots.  It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced.  To see my baby’s gorgeous smile.... turn to a frown, and then to a cry… looking into my eyes with this hurt look, like I had completely betrayed her, on her tiny precious face… I am about to cry again now just remembering the moment.

The thing is, we spent so long trying to conceive.  Then, I treated my body like a balloon for my entire pregnancy; too fragile to do too much with such an angel growing inside.  Then, she arrived - more perfect than I could have ever imagined.  And I cannot STAND to see her hurting.  I just want to keep her from any pain!

And then I realize the sad, awful truth.  This is just the first of many hurts that she will feel.  The first of many times that I will try to hug and kiss away the pain.  And I allowed it!!  I could have easily not made her have them, right?

No, WRONG.  These are to protect her from being more seriously hurt (by illness and possibly fatal diseases).  So, this was for her own good.  It got me to thinking about other times I may have to let my baby hurt so that she will be better for it in the future.  I mean, it’s true – we learn from pain.  You touch a hot frying pan once, and I’ll bet you never reach for it again without checking to make sure it isn’t hot.  That’s how we protect ourselves.  But then again, I would never allow my baby to touch a frying pan if I knew what she was doing.

Just like I won’t want her to make friends with people who can hurt her heart, and I won’t want her to have boyfriends who could break it.  Can’t she just stay this little forever??  She is completely precious, and (excluding the shots from yesterday) completely innocent of pain, in all of its forms.

This being a Mommy business is heartbreaking.  I just think of how I could possibly nurture, guide, protect, and love this little being with all my heart.  I know that I can do that much – I already am!  But, when I imagine how I am to cultivate all the values, morals, and ethics that will make her into a good person… the thought scares me to death, honestly.

But, we were blessed with this beautiful being.  It is up to us to help mold her into the best possible person she can be. And I absolutely thank God for entrusting me with such an amazing task. 

Now, I'm not a very serious person.  Most of the time when there's a serious moment, I have to ruin it with, *ahem* break the tension with a joke or something to make people laugh.  So, you can imagine my surprise when I have a totally serious series of thoughts.  Like the overall cloaking of my daughter's heart and body.  So, I'll just end with this -- does anyone know if it's legal to keep your children locked inside your home?  Hey, she would be protected.  (Please note:  I said protected, not overprotected.  Maybe I do belong in a nut house.)

Well, she is still able to put a smile on her face...
So, maybe she will survive, after all.  :)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please follow my blog!