Friday, March 25, 2011

A new kind of dating...

So, when you're young and single, you can meet people fairly easily -- especially if you go to college, where the organizations are set up so that you can meet people with like interests and create those "lifelong friendships" everybody talks about.

Then, you get married and have children... and things change.  Suddenly, the concept of meeting people and "compatibility" is based on completely different things.  Whether someone is a good match has to do with your children--their ages, your parenting philosophies, etc.

Now, I'll admit:  I am very fortunate to have friendships that are strong and super-meaningful to me.  Aren't my best friends gorgeous?

Vanessa, Me, & Christine

Unfortunately,... they live many miles away in different directions, and we don't get to see each other as much as I'd like.  So, that leads to this - this need to meet new people, and ya know -- keep me from going insane?

Believe it or not, making new mom friends is hard.  So, when I finally had the opportunity to make a friend and plan a "Mommy Date" not very long ago, I was actually a little nervous.  There's a teacher that my husband works with who has a baby a little less than a month older than Natalie.  In mommy-speak... that means compatibility.  So, we ran into her, with her baby (Bonus! Something to start the conversation.... ding, ding, ding!) at the grocery store.  Taylor introduced us, and I said one of my probably-not-that-funny quips about Mommyhood, and she laughed.  Woo hoo! Instant camaraderie over our babies and mommy-dom.  Yes!  But, then it was back to grocery shopping.  And it hit me!  Neither of us had exchanged information and we hadn't made plans to meet.  All that charm (okay, more like nervous-babbling-because-I-really-wanted-this-new-person-to-like-me) had been for nothing.  Blech!  I disgust myself.

But, I got a second chance in the parking lot, and I pulled up my big girl panties long enough to ask her if her family of three would want to get together sometime with the three of us.  And then, I felt like the nerdy guy getting the girl's phone number.  Even worse, I'm like the nerdy guy who doesn't even know what to do with them when he does get the digits.  What do you expect?  I'd never done this before! 

Then late last week, we met a mommy with twins about Natalie's age (she told us that they were conceived through in vitro, and we had an instant connection both because of our babies ages and because of infertility), and she was so suave asking for my phone number... it made me realize that I really was like the nerdy, inexperienced guy when I had asked for that other mommy's information.  Oh, to be suave and cool like this other mommy.  Oh great - it's like high school all over again.  But then again, this time, I'm a little less self-conscious about the extra fat packed onto my rolls around the middle, and I've got an adorable baby girl who thinks all of my dorky jokes and ridiculous sound effects are hilarious.

Thankfully, looking back on my whole "Mommy Date Pick-Up" encounter just makes me laugh, and now we have a plan for our families to meet and have dinner next weekend.  I'd call it a play date with our kids to make it seem less ridiculous... but I'm pretty sure a play date for babies less than 6 months old is ridiculous.  Just sayin'.

Natalie is 4 months old now!


  1. Okay, so even though I don't have any children, I can totally relate to the whole finding new friends as an adult. As a matter of fact, sometimes it'd difficult BECAUSE other people our age have children - most of them are having babies like in the last few months or today, even! lol. And as much as I want to be friends with those people, it's just different. So, yeah, I totally get that.

    Also, the picture of the three of you is abosolutely ADORABLE! Her little expression is like "what is happening here!!!???" HAHA!

  2. Thanks, Nicole! She is quite the little "expression"ist...

    If we lived near one another, I know we'd get along great! You stay in our prayers, bloggy friend. :)


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